Axis of Fat - Latest Comments

Re: A Fat Bride Survival Guide

Lee-Ann — Tue, 08 May 2012 19:35:46 -0000

Thank you for posting this. I am getting married Feb 2013 and have been feeling so much pressure from so many people about my weight. Thing is, I am ok with it. I figure that all eyes will be on me regardless of my size and I will still be a beautiful bride. My confidence does tend to slip, but reading your post has certainly given it a lift again. The part about the shoes made me laugh. I bought heels for my ceremony, but I was smart and got the matching pumps for the reception :)

You were a BEAUTIFUL bride. Thank you again. Best of luck to you and your husband.

Re: “Stop empowering fat people.” Wait, WHAT?

Taylor Frink — Mon, 07 May 2012 17:39:01 -0000

As a man, may I point out something here:
The reason why men's magazines, such as; FHM, Maxim, GQ, Esquire etc., tend to have people like Megan Fox and Hayden Panatierre on their covers has nothing to do with the fact that they get their tits out or whatever reason you care to attribute to this factor. However, the reason we don't have magazines, adverts and television programmes using overweight people to push a product is because people don't want to see it.

You say that mental health is REALLY good for you, but surely you'd mentally feel a million times better if people turned their heads to look at you in awe and you could "comfortably" fit into "that little black dress"... surely? Well, I can assure you that after I lost weight (which is achievable for anyone, by the way...) I felt physically AND mentally healthier, built my self-esteem and confidence out of the calories and cholesterol I was draining from my body.

So, in theory... if you spent more time on the treadmill, and less on the internet supping your full-fat caramel frappuccino, scoffing down doughnuts and feeding into the Global Fat-Fuck Empowerment Program, then maybe, JUST MAYBE, we could eradicate obesity (which you all had recognised as a disease).

Cancer is a disease... you want that too?

Re: A Fat Bride Survival Guide

Theadomm — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 07:52:57 -0000

I wish I had found your site before I got married. Fortunately I am very comfortable with who I am and what "plus" size I am and I found a team of amazing people to help me out. My dress maker had never made a plus size dress but she never said so till afterwards when her response was "I was so scared I wouldn't get it right because its your day but I have learned so much and I think I should take more plus sized clients because you and the dress look absolutely gorgeous". and I did and my dress was perfect. My one brides maid did drag me to a dress shop before I found her and even phoned ahead to politely check they had my sizes before 'spontaniously' suggesting we pop in. Wow the dresses were aweful. Why they think they can just upsize something that would look great on a suer skinny model I have no idea.

My make-up artist and I got on so well. She kept saying things during my trial like 'you have such a beautiful face to play with' and your personality matches you (ha ha its big ;D) and you seem very comfortable in your own skin. I ended up as the face for her adverts in the bridal magazines and she was determined I should become a model. Ha I am not even small enough to be a plus sized model. All very positive and good.

I did lose a couple friends though, mostly over the fat that their fat friend they never saw as competition was getting married before they were. I learnt a valuable lesson that even your best friends can surprise you with their prejudices someone they once saw as that easy comfotable friend they didn't have to compete with suddenly becomes a winner in a race that doesn't really exist.

Re: A Fat Bride Survival Guide

Frankii — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 15:57:26 -0000

This is one of my favourite blog posts that I have EVER read, I am dieting for my wedding, but still, if I lost the three stone I am planning to, I will still be FAT.
This post rescued me when I was having a moment, and I am forever grateful for your frank honesty and tips (plus you look lovely in your dress) x

Re: This Week in Fatness IV

Nan Henson — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 08:07:36 -0000

Minneapolis has a great yoga class for plus-sizers called 'Big Ass
Yoga.' http://www.yogacentermpls.com/...

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

David_Lenton — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 12:27:45 -0000

Yeah, I definitely think it's clear she knows where she's coming from as far as making a feminist argument is concerned - and yay for that! You're right, it's definitely good to see this conversation happening.

It was just a point of...well, disappointment, I guess.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

David_Lenton — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 12:27:04 -0000

Oh, I wasn't trying to say that she was suggesting a size 8 was fat - I think she's doing the exact opposite. But there was something about the specificity of her words (that heckling a size 8 for being fat was "extraordinary") that I think left room open for the heckling of someone of a larger size. Although I do admit that this is a point at which I could be taking the analysis a bit far.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

LittleBigGirl — Sun, 15 Apr 2012 11:30:40 -0000

Based on Judd's words I feel she has a fairly good grasp on feminism and the Beauty Myth, but she does not seem to be as aware or knowledgeable when it comes to the concepts of self acceptance and fat acceptance. (My understanding of) SA/FA includes the building block concepts that a) every is different for many different reasons and b) people should not be judged by, or treated according to, their weight and doing so is put in the same category as using skin color or (perceived) gender to determine how much acknowledgment and respect an individual is "allowed."
I would like to be optimistic and call Judd's comments about weight and fat more a "stumble" than an out and out fuck up. It is just one more example of how we still have a ways to go. I think for her to be defending herself at all is a minor miracle and we should be glad for the dialogue opportunity.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

Ashley — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 13:08:58 -0000

I agree that her comments here wren't as carefully constructed as her words in the essay, but I don't see where she referred to size 8 as fat. It's definitely not fat but it is larger for her.

However, I do think her comment about "carrying that kind of weight" reveals that she does judge people for being weighty past a certain point. As someone who is thin, I have felt the sting when people say similarly to what Judd said but about thin people, "When I see people THAT skinny, I can't help but think there is some disordered eating." It's not ok to assume disordered eating in either fat or thin people.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

David — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 21:47:53 -0000

Thanks, Elizabeth! That's what I was trying to point out.

It's an extremely important conversation that I think has been marred by a counterproductive point.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

David — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 21:44:31 -0000

She didn't just make the comment about weight gain happening over the Winter period once in a general conversation; she made it twice, in an essay about how the focus on women's bodies is damaging, in conjunction with a pathologising comment about fat on a TV show in a media tour about the same topic.

Linking weight gain to the Winter period isn't just something that Judd has said in a vaccum. It's a common meme and is often used as a justification for weight gain. And the unstated flipside of that meme is that, once it's no longer Winter and that lazy funk is over, the weight will be lost.

Now, please note, I stated repeatedly in the post that Judd's overall argument is a strong one and that I don't think that this necessarily weakens it at all. I just find it problematic that in this interview she pathologised fat (going out of her way to say that there must be some underlying reason for why someone is fat) and that in her essay she seems to go out of her way to explain her weight gain. In a narrative about how objectifcation is damaging, what purpose does this serve, except to indicate that it's not the norm?

The only place where I think I could be accused of "picking apart" what she says and "extrapolating" is with respect to the specificity of her comment about a size eight being heckled for being fat - and I go to great lengths to acknowledge that within the post. Otherwise I'm commenting specifically on her own words.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

Elizabeth — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 18:39:32 -0000

It's pretty damn obvious in Judd's comment that she manifestly does NOT mean "being fat in this culture leads to self-esteem issues because of how fat people are treated."

She means that when she "sees a person carrying that kind of weight" she believes she is justified in assuming that they're carrying that weight BECAUSE they have "self-esteem issues" and "disordered eating."

I'm sure you're aware of how prevalent this line of argument is against fat people--particularly women. You're fat because: You're scared of men! You were abused as a child! You're self-destructive! Etc, ad infinitum. Solve your emotional problems and you'll magically become thin!

Judd is,
for all the good points she makes, still engaging in hypocrisy. She is making--damaging!--assumptions about OTHER WOMEN'S bodies while at the same time claiming this behavior needs to stop.

It's important to say that.

Re: …And That’s When Ashley Judd Fucked it Up.

Fat Girl — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 13:24:15 -0000

For Judd, it's possible that she does gain weight when she is lazy and doesn't exercise. I think a mistake is being made here in going from the specific to the general. She's not speaking for other people and saying they are lazy and therefore fat. She's speaking for herself. In fact, I think that if she could be speaking to the fact that, without specific structured effort, it is impossible for her (or anyone) to be so tiny as a size 2 or 4.

As for pathologizing fatness, well, I think that the fact that the fat acceptance movement exists and is necessary provides support for her comments about self-esteem. It is not possible to be fat in this world without suffering esteem issues. That's part of why fat people need support sites like this one.

I don't think the way in which you pick apart and extrapolate what she's saying is really doing anybody any good. You jump to all sorts of conclusions based on her comments and if someone did the same to your arguments, I'm pretty sure you would not be pleased. She never said everyone gains weight over winter and that it's natural. She was the one accused of having had plastic surgery. She was the one who said she looks different because she gained weight over winter. Let's not put words in her mouth lest others put words in ours in response.

Re: “Stop empowering fat people.” Wait, WHAT?

Rondell — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 22:15:04 -0000

if you're overweight you need to fix it, being overweight is unhealthy, there are many health problems linked to obesity like Type 2 Diabetes and heart disease

Re: Run! Fatties in bikinis! The sky is falling!

Rebeccafyi10 — Sat, 07 Apr 2012 19:43:55 -0000

im the exact same as you!... but I really do care what people think of me:/... I'm 200 pounds as well and I'm 15 but I also have really really toned and muscular legs and arms from softball... to bad I have a bulgy belly and love handles... I might just think of grabbing a two pieces this year:)... and not one that hangs down in the front:)

Re: This Week In Fatness II

Fat Heffalump — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 21:16:23 -0000

Hey, thanks for the link love!

Re: This Week in Fatness I

David — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 04:08:07 -0000

Thanks! :)

Re: This Week in Fatness I

Ashley — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 05:02:21 -0000

Great recap!

Re: Jen’s take on Online Dating (While Fat).

Yaya — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 18:42:28 -0000

Must say I found this video quite interesting and also extremely accurate! I recently found myself

using an online meeting app last month. I found that people were using outdated photo's and there

were many men I didn't find appealing at all. I tried to remain "humble" and reply to even the ones who

weren't so hot! My advise is remain open because we ALL HAVE FLAWS. It's not always about looks

because they will fade. Find the Genuine cliche "Diamond in the ruff". They are out there I promise. I

found and meet up with some really cool people. Nice web video! VERY TRUE!!

Re: A Fat Bride Survival Guide

Felishagannon — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 04:51:54 -0000

You look amazing,,,,iam i plus size woman and im 23 and im getting married in october..and everyday whats on my mind is AM I GOING TO FIT IN MY DRESS....IS SOMEONE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF ME....it all runs in my mind everyday and i have i have 8 more months till my wedding and im really nervouse...

Re: Jen’s take on Online Dating (While Fat).

David — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 03:01:13 -0000

I now have a shout out on youtube and I am pretty sure that makes me internet famous. Woo! :D

Thank you for the response, Jen!

Re: Jen’s take on Online Dating (While Fat).

David — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 02:58:59 -0000

It seems that it's one of those things where individual experiences may vary greatly, based on any number of factors. This certainly doesn't reflect my own experiences either, but I'm working with a different pool of people based on sex, sexuality, location, interests, tolerances (lol)...

The unfortunate thing about that, of course, is that there's always the possibility that you're going to be sitting there thinking exactly what you did: wow, that is NOT my experience. And, yeah, it does suck to be in that position.

Have you found something that's worked for you that hasn't been mentioned, or is online dating just off your radar?

Re: Online Dating (While Fat)

David — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 02:40:33 -0000

I do like that you put it out there and just move on. It makes it clear that you're both letting people know and (rightly!) suggesting that it's not the only thing about you that matters.

Re: A Fat Bride Survival Guide

CLC — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:53:57 -0000

You go girl! You look amazing. I feel like being a larger girl is harder at times. You can advertise to your followers that anyone in Southern California can come to our Enzoani Sample Sale on March 10 2012. We will have a very wide selection of dresses up to size 26! Come check us out at www.ByInvitationOnlyOC.com/enz... and sign up for an appointment. The flyer is wrong in the sense that we will have larger sizes then 14.

Re: Jen’s take on Online Dating (While Fat).

Heather Kolaya-Spealman — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 13:29:48 -0000

Great video- I absolutely agree. I've never had much luck with online dating, but I've also never had terrible experiences. I post full body photos, I mention multiple times that I'm fat, I have pictures with no makeup, with makeup, laughing and making a funny face- whatever